I once heard a pastor say, “I would love ministry if it were not for people.” Sadly, this pastor did not realize that without people, there is no ministry. Yet it is true that people are often difficult to deal with. Perhaps you are dealing with difficult people right now. It may be family conflict tensions at your workplace or a misunderstanding with a close friend. Either way, we all know what it is to be hurt, let down, and wounded by people. Thankfully, the scriptures tell us how to overcome offense. They not only explain God’s expectations for unity and harmony with others, but they also show us how to get there even when the path seems impossible.
The book of Romans is one of the greatest letters ever written. As Paul concludes his thoughts in the closing chapter, he gives this final instruction: to be in “harmony with one another” (Romans 15:5). Consequently, there are a few things that need to be in place before we can achieve harmony with others. I want to draw your attention to them. The mature Christian will be able to resolve conflicts by following these simple steps.
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1. Understand Your Real Need
Truett Cathy, Founder of Chick-fil-A, was a faithful Christian and is now with the Lord. He once asked how you can tell if someone needs encouragement. “If they have a pulse.” Each of us needs encouragement. Where we get in trouble is when we look to fulfill this need through others rather than God. All of us have a need for endurance because Satan so often discourages us, telling us to quit and give up. What does encouragement do for us? When you take a close look at the word encourage, tucked inside it is the word “courage.” The right encouragement enables us to go forward, to keep pressing on, and to endure. Until we recognize God as the source of our encouragement, we will miss it by trying to find it in other people. How does God give us this endurance and encouragement? Romans 15:4 answers it like this,
“For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
As a Christian, are you able to encourage yourself with the scriptures? Do you know where to go to find strength in your daily life? When I was young in my faith, one of the greatest tools that helped me learn God’s Word was a Bible Promise Book. This small guide through the Bible is a jewel for new believers. It is one way I learned how to navigate the scriptures. One of my favorite chapters for encouragement is Psalm 34. I have gone to this chapter time and time again to find fresh strength from Heaven. Do you know where to go when your tank is empty? The wise Christian will not be dependent upon others for their strength but will find it solely in the Lord.
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2. You Cannot Do This Alone
“I will try to forgive, but I will never forget,” a lady once told me. I could hear the anger and bitterness in her voice. While what had happened to her was decades ago, the wound was still fresh. I have never met someone who was angry and loved feeling this way. The people I have counseled would give anything to let go of their anger. The problem is that they don’t know how. It is easy to tell people to forgive when it is not you who has been wronged. I have many friends who were in ministry together, suffered a split, and decided to separate. Because I am on the outside looking in, I have the capacity to love both sides and struggle to understand why they don’t forgive and move on. However, when it is you who has been hurt or wronged, it is not so easy.
This is why I’m so thankful for the wording of verse five. It teaches that to be in harmony with others is a grace from God. It does not come from ourselves. So, if you are reading this and thinking, “You don’t know what happened to me. You don’t understand why I can’t forgive,” it is true that I don’t know the backstory, but according to Romans 15:5, God can enable you to forgive and move forward. Take to heart these words, “May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus” (Romans 15:5). Can you see the biblical logic? I may have been mistreated by others, but I do not gain endurance or encouragement through them. It is sourced from scripture (v.4) and God Himself (v.5). Because endurance and encouragement come from Him, He will grant me the ability to do what I am incapable of on my own. This is the power of God’s Word and God’s love within us.
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3. Play the Right Part
The Greek word for harmony in Romans 15:5 is homothumadon. It means to be of one accord or in unison. I especially love this word when linked to verse six, “That together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 15:6). Too many Christians are living solo lives, praying solo prayers, and attempting solo ministry. Whereas God has designed His Church to be in harmony. This means you have a part, and I have a part to play. When a church has unity in its leadership and the congregation is in alignment with God’s mission and values, that church will be one voice glorifying God.
The same is true for families. When we are able to resolve our conflicts with the wisdom of God’s Word and with the love of God in our hearts, it will create harmony in our relationships. This is when we experience the results of harmony, unity, and togetherness…it glorifies God. Are these scriptures describing a fake, spiritual utopia where there are no disagreements or arguments? No! There are some people who will not allow you to be in harmony with them, so how does a mature believer respond to such people? Romans 12:18 is the answer, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Do not let someone else’s sin become your sin. Do not let their failure to be in harmony become your failure. As much as it depends upon you, seek harmony and unity.
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Peacefulness Glorifies God
A symphony is a wonderful experience; however, the warmup does not sound like a concert. While musicians are tuning and practicing each of their parts, it can sound like a trainwreck. Yet when the conductor steps to the stage and everyone plays their part, it creates something beautiful. So, it is with the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ. Our churches should not be doing their own little performances. Instead, we should be looking to the conductor–the Holy Spirit. We should align ourselves to His rhythm.
The word together in Romans 15:6 makes me think of Acts 4:24. After Peter and John heal the lame man, they are arrested and beaten. It would be the first time that persecution came upon Christians. After being released from prison, Peter and John went to a prayer meeting. The church prayed with such power that Acts 4 says the place in which they prayed was shaken by the power of God. Acts 4:24 tells us specifically how they prayed, “together they lifted their voices.” The Greek word for together is symfonía. This is where we get our English word, symphony.
Can you see the beauty of this biblical word picture? When God’s people are in alignment, and we lift our voices in prayer, it is like a symphony in the ears of God. Isn’t this a much better way to live? Rather than being a divisive and angry person who is always arguing and quarreling, I would rather be at peace and in harmony with others. Rather than living solo, I would rather join my heart to God’s people for God’s glory.
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Chad’s pastoral career has not been defined by blindness. Rather, it is his clear, biblical teaching that continues to grow an audience. He has traveled through forty nations, training pastors and strengthening churches.
Today, Chad teaches people to trust a God they cannot see. His days are filled with the things he loves most: leading, speaking, writing, and of course, coffee! He is a spiritual content creator. By God’s grace, he is emerging as a trusted spiritual voice in people’s lives. Chad may have blindness, but blindness does not have him.
Originally published Friday, 26 July 2024.