I was sitting on the floor of our spare bedroom in complete heartbreak and grief. A month prior, my mother had passed away from cancer. She was 57. The first days were a blur, and the following days were a chaotic rush of responsibilities and events that solidified her death and her absence. There, on that floor, weeks after her passing, the grief became unbearable. It had finally caught up with me. It could no longer be outrun or outwit.
There sat grief and I together, not by choice but by circumstances beyond our control– new partners, unable to be separated.
In that room, as reality started to become the harshest truth I’d have to endure, God felt so far away. I felt alone and abandoned. I felt so far from faith and the Lord that it was almost as if I never knew them. My hope had vanished as my heart was broken into pieces. My faith didn’t feel challenged; it felt nonexistent.
I learned that grief can be as powerful and potent as the enemy. If you let it, it can wrap you in complete darkness. It can consume you, leaving no space for the Lord or any glimmer of light and love. It can create distance from the beliefs you’ve held your entire life, exchanging them for despair and cynicism.
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What Do You Do When Christ Feels Far Away?
What do you do when you feel your prayers haven’t been answered, your soul hasn’t been comforted, and your life hasn’t been blessed with His promises?
First, you breathe, and you keep reminding yourself to breathe. It seems simple, but grief transforms simple tasks into complex ones. You hurt before you can heal. You sit with this new truth and a new path for your future. And when you’re ready, you honor your grief while acknowledging that God’s silence does not mean His absence. As a friend once told me in the storm of grief– “The teacher is always quiet during the test.” And grief, it certainly feels like a test.
A test of courage to continue.
A test of the bravery to remain faithful, even in the midst of loss.
A test of hope– allowing glimmers of light to shine through when all you feel is darkness.
A test of trust– that you will not allow difficult moments to create distance between you and the Lord.
It is a test to remain steadfast in your beliefs and your knowing, even when you cannot understand or comprehend the outcomes of this life.
When you cannot feel His comfort and when Christ feels far away, you read His promises and His truth—He is always close. He is always present, especially in our time of need. You simply need to be open to his reminders and listen to hear His voice.
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1. Isaiah 41:10
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10
Listen to God's reassurance and inspiration. He invites us to be open and understanding of His presence, His comfort, and our trust in His strength and unwavering support. We are encouraged to let go of fear, knowing that God is always by our side, ready to guide, protect, and uplift us in every circumstance—including grief and loss.
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2. Jeremiah 23:23-24
"'Am I only a God nearby,' declares the Lord, 'and not a God far away? Who can hide in secret places so that I cannot see them?' declares the Lord. 'Do not I fill heaven and earth?' declares the Lord." - Jeremiah 23:23-24
It’s hard for our earthly minds to comprehend that our God is not limited by space or distance. When He feels far, He is not. God is fully aware and involved even in our most private struggles or moments of isolation, even in our deepest grief and mourning. God fills the entire universe and encourages us to trust in His sovereignty and ability to handle any situation– even grief and heartbreak.
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3. Psalm 34:18
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18
God understands our grief, even when we blame Him for its source. Even when we challenge our faith and misunderstand life’s outcomes, God remains compassionate and committed to us in our times of sorrow. His hope, our hope, is found in reminding ourselves, again and again, until our hearts accept the truth that we are never alone.
He may feel far away. He may feel distant. But He is neither– for He is with us– always.
May we never let silence be evidence of absence, may we never let grief overpower faith, and may we always feel His comfort and His light in the deepest spaces of our mourning.
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Originally published Wednesday, 21 August 2024.